Word of the Year – Freedom.

Picture by thatbluepuppy

I’ve heard several blogs talking about picking a word of the year for your New Year’s resolution. I really like the idea, but last year I just couldn’t narrow down my choice to one.  This year I’ve got it – my word is FREEDOM.

Freedom to make mistakes.  Freedom to change my mind.  Freedom to be silly.  Freedom to do what I want to do. I tend to get way too caught up in doing what I “should” do.  Going to work, paying my bills, cooking, cleaning, and all that stuff.  Which is fine in it’s own way, but I spend more time on what I HAVE to do, instead of what I WANT to do.

I’m giving myself PERMISSION to have the freedom in my life that I envy in the lives of others.  The freedom to CHOOSE to make time for the things I’m missing out on.  Going on more trips, eating at new restaurants, learning new ways of making money so I can afford the things I want.

Freedom is allowing me to stop complaining about my life.  I’m free to find a new job that is more align with my passion.  I’m free to try dressing in a new way and even overhaul my whole wardrobe if I want to.  Lately I’ve been trying many new foods and finding that my taste buds have changed and I enjoy flavors I didn’t before.  Freedom allows me to say, “I’m different today than I was yesterday – and that’s WONDERFUL!”

My own inner critic was holding me back far more than any real-life criticism I received.  If a person told me I couldn’t do it, I’d just say – “Yeah right –watch me!.”  If I told myself I couldn’t do it, I was convinced that I was a smart person and I must know what I was talking about!  By focusing on FREEDOM, I know that I’m free to change my mind, try again, or completely revise my old ideas. This focus word is helping me put things into perspective.

So what is your word for the year?  And how does it help you?  Share your ideas with me.

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Teddy Bear Day!

Originally uploaded by *brynne

Technically Teddy Bear Day was yesterday, on the 9th, but since I didn’t think up this poem until today, I’m calling a Do-Over and celebrating now. So here goes:

National Teddy Bear Day
Teddy bears are always nice, and never –ever rude
They spread love and laughter and a happy attitude

Teddy bears are always humble, they never brag and boast
And they’ll never tell a secret, or steal your piece of toast

Teddy bears and warm and snuggly, they’re dear to our heart
They love to meet all our friends, and I’ve yet to hear one fart

Teddy bears come in every shape and size
And each one is perfect in their owner’s eyes

Better than any warrior, Teddy bears are courageous
Their kind-hearted, joyful nature is a bit contagious

Through every storm in life, they’ll help you get through
And all they ask in return, is a little love from you.

Have you hugged your Teddy Bear today?

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Live By Your Own Rules.

by Prozac74

While reading another blog that I love, I came across a theme that really resonates with me. It’s called “Rules that don’t exist.” I love this idea firstly because I have always been a bit weird.  I often enjoy things that friends or family dislike or aren’t interested in.  It could be liking music someone else hates, or my love reading – I can’t get enough of it.  Some friends hope that particular disease isn’t contagious

That’s why living by your own rules is so important. Another great blogger, Gretchen Rubin, talks about how what’s fun for other people may not be fun for you – and vice versa.  This is so important to recognize.  You can’t live your life by other people’s rules.

If you love foreign films, or playing video games, or doing sudoku, go right ahead and have fun!  If you love knitting, making homemade Christmas cards or fantasy football – go for it!  Do what YOU love.  Remember love is a matter of the heart. Just like no one can make you love a particular person, no one can make you love a particular thing either.

If you’re anything like me, you live the old adage “Joys shared are doubled, sorrows shared are halved.”  For me, it’s completely true.  Sometimes I feel my joy is diminished because the people around me don’t share my enthusiasm and interest.

It is an enormous relief to realize that while none of my friends like playing with toys – I love it!  I like movies that my husband hates.  It’s like a milkshake – some love strawberry or vanilla, but I love chocolate.  Living life by your own rules means enjoying your particular flavor of life.

That’s one of the beautiful things about the Internet.  There you can find comrades who enjoy EXACTLY the same things as you.  Even if you have to go to one site for Harry Potter fans, and another one for horror movie fans.  (Both of which I like.)

I was reading an article with a point of view I disagreed with today, and it made me feel guilty.  (I thought the article had a point.)  But then I realized, that even though I agree with some of the information, I didn’t agree with the main point.  And that’s TOTALLY OK.  My whole perspective shifted once I realized it’s okay to disagree.

So whatever rules you use to live your life, make them ones that work for you.  Look at the things that you think you should believe – that doing things for others is good for you, that you can’t stay out late on a work night, or that rollercoasters are fun.  Maybe so, but maybe that’s not true for you.  Create a life that makes sense for you, not someone else, even someone you admire. Go live life by YOUR RULES!

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Best Moments

Originally uploaded by usmanister_01

One of the benefits of a gratitude journal is that it helps you keep track of funny things, happy occasions and memories you want to keep. Here are some of the best moments from last week:
• Seeing a tiny baby bunny in the grass by the woods in the early morning.
• Watching fireflies glowing in the evening. It looks like my own personal 4th of July every night.
• Finishing some assignments that had been looming over me for the past month.
• Meditating for 20 minutes when I felt irritable and moody and feeling energized and calm after the meditation.
• Finding a used book I was looking for. Bonus – it was only $1.00.
• Finding a hilarious Hoops & Yoyo talking toy at the flea market. So fun to play with when you need a laugh.
• Having a coworker help me laugh my way into a better mood.
• Picked delicious red ripe raspberries for raspberry shortcake and vanilla ice cream.
• Having a good talk with my father for Fathers Day since he lives in another state.
• Wrote a fun birthday poem for a coworker. Had fun being a little creative.

Although there were lots of things that I didn’t get accomplished. (Like writing a blog article), and I didn’t complete my to-do list, I feel very good about this week. The key is to pay attention to the good things that happen. Writing a gratitude list helps you do that.
What were your best moments this week?

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Add Some Play to Your Day.

Picture by Tracie Taylor Photography

I have a problem.  A serious problem.  I am too serious.  And I don’t like it!  I like to laugh, joke and smile through my day.  I enjoy debating the latest book I’m reading, a cool TV show or the newest movie.  I like to be full of energy, enthusiasm and feel ecstatic throughout my day.

I recently realized anew that I am full of childlike wonder and sense of fun.  I just had to dust myself off and look at my habits to find that humor again.  If you want to join me in giggling, wiggling, dancing and prancing through your day, then keep reading.

We all face difficulties and disturbances of all kinds in our day.  Sometimes these problems build up without our notice, leaving us suddenly fearful, angry or overwhelmed.  When your life conspires to suck all the fun out of your day, fight back!

Start by assessing what you enjoy.  Although the ideas I give here may not be your cup of tea, I hope they shake up your thinking and help you discover what brings you delight and joy.

I have many strategies for adding fun (and I’m always looking for more.)  Here are a few of things I do to bring a little laughter, foolishness and chuckles to my day:

1. Party cups. These are the plastic cups they have for children’s parties at Wal-Mart, Toys R’ Us and other stores.  They are generally from the latest children’s movie or cartoon.  I buy them and keep them in my cabinet to add a smile when I get a drink.  Characters like Spiderman, Sponge Bob, Winnie the Pooh, Iron Man and Star Wars Clones.
2. Humor folder. This is full of fun, creative things to do.  It could be silly signs for work, knock-knock jokes, brainstorming ideas, meaning of life quotes, lists of way to improve your mood, using humor at work, etc.  Obviously you can see that I need humor more often at work than at home.  But all the ideas in the folder can be used almost anywhere.
3. Wallpapers. Not the kind that go on your wall, but the kind that goes on your computer, phone, or other electronic device. Put a picture of a dog in a wig, or a smiling cow on your phone where you’ll see it every time you text or call.  A kid covered in spaghetti sauce can make a great humorous computer background.  Even though these are small things, they can add a smile to your day.  Anytime you’re smiling is a good time.
4. Talking toys. Recently I was in a thrift store that had a talking Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean.  The sayings weren’t even that great, but when you’re bored and press the button the funny accent makes you laugh.  It was a great investment for a few dollars.  I’ve had talking Buzz Lightyear, a cool Terminator, and the hilarious Tuck and Roll interactive dolls from A Bug’s Life.  All were great conversation pieces, and even better, they made me laugh each time I touched them.  (Note – talking toys that laugh and vibrate at the same time will really get you laughing.  Check out this hilarious Laughing Dog Toy (love the name – Chuckle Buddies.  Note the chimp is on sale for 1/2 off!)
5. Ipod videos. This can be a great source of entertainment.  Whether it’s a comedian routine like Eddie Murphy or some You Tube video of a kid dancing, these are great stress busters.  Take an hour or so once a week and load 2-3 on there.  When you’re stuck at the airport, in a traffic jam, or in a really long meeting, pull that sucker out and have a good laugh.  (Just be prepared for the funny looks from people who have no idea what’s so funny.)
6. Music. Music is a great mood lifter.  It doesn’t matter what you like, it can break up tension.  Classical, Jazz, Rock, Pop, Country, Motown and more.  I use music to relax, to exercise, to clean and to stop boredom.  Try a variety for different moods.  Add a few music videos too.
7. Funky clothes. Wear t-shirts with funny sayings, polka-dot socks, character ties or colorful underwear.  Wear all purple today, on put on a bright yellow shirt.  You can wear sparkles; add iron-on decals, pink shoelaces, a glow necklace or a smiley face pin.  Clothes can definitely change your mood, so a playful wardrobe can bring out a playful mood.
8. Pens, post-its and paper. We use these things every day, so why not spice them up so you look forward to using them?  Try colored pens like purple, turquoise and jade.  Buy post-it notes with funny sayings or characters like Maxine from Hallmark.  Use colored copy paper whenever you have a chance, it will really add pizzazz to those memos.  If you insert a joke into your memo as well you’ll really find out who is reading them.
9. Make scents. Use scents to liven up your environment.  Essential oils can be relaxing or invigorating.  At work try lemon, orange or eucalyptus.  To relax try rose, lavender, chamomile or some other light floral scent.  Experiment with lotions, pillow sprays, air fresheners and more.  Even changing up your laundry detergent can brighten your day.  Clothes smelling like a garden are infinitely more enjoyable than those smelling like bleach.
10. Doodle. Try to revive the lost art of doodling. Letters, numbers, shapes, colored lines, whatever catches your fancy.  Doodling gives your hands something to do, and can actually spark creative ideas.

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It Starts With You.

Picture by Zanastardust

It’s something I’ve been fighting against lately.  That I am responsible for the conditions in my life.  There has been lots of things bothering me lately; noisy neighbors, work overload, traffic, weather, and an ever-growing to-do list.  When so many things are causing stress and headaches, it’s so easy (and somewhat comforting) to blame others.  Thinking things like “My company is too demanding and doesn’t understand my workload, my neighbors are inconsiderate and rude, or that driver is stupid and blind.”

The good news is that all those improvements you want to see in others, can begin with you. A good example that pops into my head is the dog training show The Dog Whisperer on National Geographic.  Have you seen when Cesar brings in a “good dog” to show the other dog how to behave?  Often the barking, jumping, wild dog will initially approach the new dog with this loud, aggressive attitude.  The good dog doesn’t like this and will turn away and go lay down away from the troublemaker.  It doesn’t take long before the troublemaker is calmly sitting down, watching every move the good dog makes.  Why?  Because all that boisterous, hyper troublemaker wants is attention.  Or exercise.  Or both.  It wants good dog to notice it and to interact.  When good dog ignores it, it learns it must change its behavior to get what it wants.

Years ago while reading self-help books I came across this wise advice “if you want to change those around you, first you must change yourself.” When we act in a different manner or with a new attitude, others see this and must decide how to respond.  They can keep on acting in the same way as before, but it will not get the same results.  It’s like a bully who finds that over the summer the kid he was pushing around has grown taller than him.  When one person changes, often so do the others.

Now of course just because you change does not mean the rest of the world suddenly becomes paradise.  But the good news is that we have a choice.  Instead of whining and complaining about how unfair everything is and how nobody does what you want, you can start saying “I’m glad that no one else has control over me.  They can’t make me miserable or unhappy unless I let them.” Then look for the positive in your situation.

Here is an example from me.  I don’t like my job right now.  There are many, many things I would change about it.  So yesterday I forced myself to make a list of the things that are good about it.  Here’s what I got:

1. I work within 3 miles of my house so I save lots of money on gas.  (My old job was 20 miles each way.)
2. My office allows a flex schedule, so I can come in early or stay late to make up time for doctors appointments and things.  Then I can use my vacation time strictly for vacations.
3. My boss has a laid-back style.  She doesn’t watch over my shoulder or constantly correct me, but is there to help me if I need it.
4. My office is convenient to shopping and restaurants.  I can go out to lunch or do shopping after work and save time since it’s right next to the office.
5. I make a good steady paycheck and have health benefits.  Many people don’t right now.  Also, all the work I have to do means that for the next 6 months at least I know I have job security.

Now obviously this doesn’t change the things I don’t like about my job.  But surprisingly (to me at least), this list does help me feel better about being there.  I could still complain about things, but with no other job prospects in this tight economy, and people still losing their jobs, that doesn’t help me.  What makes my days there better is knowing that there are positive aspects to my job if I just bother to look for them.

I hope this reminder can be of use to you, like it was to me.  I was stuck in the blame game again – and I know better.  Recognizing our own power and using it to our advantage is a great help.  And we’ll feel better about our lives in the process.  Remember positive change starts with you.

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A Little Happiness is Better Than None.

Slide by Pink Sherbet Photography

Don’t overlook a small joy just because you’re expecting something bigger.  Don’t overlook a smile, a compliment, or your favorite song on the radio by being too busy listing your woes. There’s a reason for the saying “count your blessings.”  It’s an important reminder to help us remember that each day has good things in it that help to counter all the other sad, depressing and upsetting things that happen.

So many of us go through our days on autopilot.  We get up, go to work, eat dinner and go to bed to start the day again.  We rarely stop and appreciate all the positive things that occur. Those easily overlooked little things – a helping hand at work, quick checkout lines, or relaxing in the setting sun while twilight pinks and purples fill the sky.

Where did the insidious belief that more is better come from?  Why do people insist on admiring multi-taskers and workaholics?  Do they smile more from all that extra overtime money?   Do they enthusiastically take on new assignments with a positive attitude?  Not most of the overachievers I know.

A little light, a little joy, gives us hope for something better.  Playing with your toddler, cuddling with your cat, smelling flowers blooming or even having a headache disappear can improve your day.  Training ourselves to notice these small wonders can add up over time, making our overall days seem happier and more enjoyable.

Most of simply yearn to worry less and be thankful more. We want more time – time to relax, to read, to play with our kids, or take a walk, to listen to music, or to count the stars.  We want to have fun.  To laugh, to smile, to be stress-free.

Speaking for myself I find that the best way to accomplish this is to begin to notice what is good about my day. Make a gratitude list.  It could be silly things like “both cars are fully operational today, the dog hasn’t been sick, and I found $2.00 in my jeans pocket.”  Small things yes, but if we don’t consciously notice them, they slip from our mind like a good idea not written down.

A positive attitude helps too. Ever notice how many times people bring up stories from the news?  How many of them are happy?  Make it your mission to spread good news.  Tell them about the honor student you know, or how your repair bill was less than you thought.  Share stories of scientific breakthroughs, a local hero or money saving sales in your area.  Practicing this habit can be greatly beneficial.

Be alert to the good things in your day, and you’ll find yourself more relaxed, and a little happier. To my way of thinking, a little happiness is better than none at all.  :0)

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