Ton Sai Bay, Ko Phi Phi Don, Thailand by yeowatzup
It is so important not to let your thoughts bring you down. I’ve often heard it said that we are our own worst critics, and it is very true. Since I write upbeat, positive blogs, I often expect myself to be smiling, happy and carefree all the time.
But reality doesn’t work that way. My husband has been away for 2 ½ weeks, leaving me on my own in a new city. I am now responsible for everything, the shopping, the bills, gas and garbage and all the little everyday chores. Although this may not be alarming for most people, it is uncomfortable for me.
I have not lived alone for 19 years. That is a long time to get used to having someone there supporting you, and helping you with the chores you find difficult. For instance I have little sense of direction. I can follow signs and maps well enough, but I often miss a turn here or there and can’t find a good place to turn around.
Getting lost or doing things like forgetting to purchase what I need at the store make me feel stupid and incompetent. In my head I find myself berating my actions “Can’t you pay attention to where you’re going?” And, “Why are you such a baby you can’t remember to do simple little things right?”
It is important not to let your internal critic take charge and add negativity to your day. Be loving and kind to yourself. Imagine what you would tell a friend who was going through the same situation and use that advice for yourself. Make a point to reassure yourself with thoughts like “I am strong, smart and capable, I can do this.” And, “I am confident and intelligent; I can handle these changes easily.”
When worries and bothersome thoughts occur, use other activities to distract yourself. Do a puzzle, read a book, take a walk, or do some cleaning. When you feel centered again, make a list of the fears on your mind and list the actions you can take to banish your fears. An action plan is a great tool for stopping the snowball effect of negative thinking before it grows into a mountain.
Don’t underestimate the power of your thoughts. Do things that make you feel good, like completing nagging chores so that worry is off your mind, and listen to your favorite music to give your mind a rest. Watch Discovery channel or History channel, and learn something new. Use the power of your mind for positive thoughts and watch your self-confidence grow.