I often fear letting people see the inner me. There are so many critics out there – -and I already have plenty in my own head. I find I have many fears; looking stupid, making a mistake that could cost me – money, friendship, or an opportunity, or missing out on something better.
Recently I started drawing again. For me that basically means copying other people’s ideas. I have very little drawing skill yet, and I’ve done no formal training, but I love cartoons and always wanted to draw my own. I also loving coloring just for the sake of coloring. The colors, the rhythm of crayons or colored pencils across the paper is relaxing to me.
I find showing people my drawings fairly embarrassing. While I might know that I’ve already progressed bit by bit into cleaner lines, others may see my attempts as immature and weak. I know that each day I draw I get better, but when the comments begin “What exactly is that supposed to be?” I do get a bit flushed in the face.
I also like to sing and dance although I’m not very good at either. But since I’ve been practicing letting go of my fears I’ve found that with practice those get better too. Not that I can leave my day job in this lifetime, but at least my voice stays in tune a little better and I only fall on my butt once instead of three times.
Honestly, I wish they taught us these things in school. Like, it’s okay to make mistakes – it means you’re learning. And you can’t be great at something if you’ve never done it before. It takes practice, that’s all. And why not teach us that being different is not only okay, but possibly necessary for our sanity.
Just like different have different tastes – my husband loves pumpkin pie while I prefer cherry for instance, we all have different ways of expressing ourselves. I love to read books, meditate and watch cartoons. Friends of mine often haven’t picked up a book in years and find cartoons childish. That’s fine, I’m not a big fan of shopping and I don’t like math. To each their own.
All I know is when I do all those wacky, strange, crazy things I love, it makes me smile. The smile often turns into laughter. After a few minutes, I find I feel more energized and peaceful. These activities entertain me and break up boredom, frustration and put me in a better mood. You can’t ask for better than that.
So next time somebody asks you why you’re being so silly, just tell them “That’s me, that’s just how I roll.” Enjoying your passions and having as much as you can fit in your day are the best ways I know to have a satisfying life. Being yourself is totally worth it.
Here’s a few more things I love; rock collecting (crystals and fossils), ghosts and the paranormal, movie nights, visiting the library, going to the flea market, dogs, kids playing, walking in the woods and surfing the Internet. What DO YOU LOVE?