Word of the Year – Freedom.

Picture by thatbluepuppy

I’ve heard several blogs talking about picking a word of the year for your New Year’s resolution. I really like the idea, but last year I just couldn’t narrow down my choice to one.  This year I’ve got it – my word is FREEDOM.

Freedom to make mistakes.  Freedom to change my mind.  Freedom to be silly.  Freedom to do what I want to do. I tend to get way too caught up in doing what I “should” do.  Going to work, paying my bills, cooking, cleaning, and all that stuff.  Which is fine in it’s own way, but I spend more time on what I HAVE to do, instead of what I WANT to do.

I’m giving myself PERMISSION to have the freedom in my life that I envy in the lives of others.  The freedom to CHOOSE to make time for the things I’m missing out on.  Going on more trips, eating at new restaurants, learning new ways of making money so I can afford the things I want.

Freedom is allowing me to stop complaining about my life.  I’m free to find a new job that is more align with my passion.  I’m free to try dressing in a new way and even overhaul my whole wardrobe if I want to.  Lately I’ve been trying many new foods and finding that my taste buds have changed and I enjoy flavors I didn’t before.  Freedom allows me to say, “I’m different today than I was yesterday – and that’s WONDERFUL!”

My own inner critic was holding me back far more than any real-life criticism I received.  If a person told me I couldn’t do it, I’d just say – “Yeah right –watch me!.”  If I told myself I couldn’t do it, I was convinced that I was a smart person and I must know what I was talking about!  By focusing on FREEDOM, I know that I’m free to change my mind, try again, or completely revise my old ideas. This focus word is helping me put things into perspective.

So what is your word for the year?  And how does it help you?  Share your ideas with me.

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Express Your Silly Self.

Tattoo Clown Man In Funny Glasses
Originally uploaded by Pink Sherbet Photography

I often fear letting people see the inner me. There are so many critics out there – -and I already have plenty in my own head.  I find I have many fears; looking stupid, making a mistake that could cost me – money, friendship, or an opportunity, or missing out on something better.

 

Recently I started drawing again.  For me that basically means copying other people’s ideas.  I have very little drawing skill yet, and I’ve done no formal training, but I love cartoons and always wanted to draw my own.  I also loving coloring just for the sake of coloring.  The colors, the rhythm of crayons or colored pencils across the paper is relaxing to me.

 

I find showing people my drawings fairly embarrassing.  While I might know that I’ve already progressed bit by bit into cleaner lines, others may see my attempts as immature and weak.  I know that each day I draw I get better, but when the comments begin “What exactly is that supposed to be?” I do get a bit flushed in the face.

 

I also like to sing and dance although I’m not very good at either.  But since I’ve been practicing letting go of my fears I’ve found that with practice those get better too.  Not that I can leave my day job in this lifetime, but at least my voice stays in tune a little better and I only fall on my butt once instead of three times.

 

Honestly, I wish they taught us these things in school.  Like, it’s okay to make mistakes – it means you’re learning. And you can’t be great at something if you’ve never done it before.  It takes practice, that’s all.  And why not teach us that being different is not only okay, but possibly necessary for our sanity.

 

Just like different have different tastes – my husband loves pumpkin pie while I prefer cherry for instance, we all have different ways of expressing ourselves. I love to read books, meditate and watch cartoons.  Friends of mine often haven’t picked up a book in years and find cartoons childish.  That’s fine, I’m not a big fan of shopping and I don’t like math.  To each their own.

 

All I know is when I do all those wacky, strange, crazy things I love, it makes me smile. The smile often turns into laughter.  After a few minutes, I find I feel more energized and peaceful.  These activities entertain me and break up boredom, frustration and put me in a better mood.  You can’t ask for better than that.

 

So next time somebody asks you why you’re being so silly, just tell them “That’s me, that’s just how I roll.”  Enjoying your passions and having as much as you can fit in your day are the best ways I know to have a satisfying life. Being yourself is totally worth it.

 

Here’s a few more things I love; rock collecting (crystals and fossils), ghosts and the paranormal, movie nights, visiting the library, going to the flea market, dogs, kids playing, walking in the woods and surfing the Internet.  What DO YOU LOVE?

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When in Doubt, Do It Anyway.

Picture by revoluzzza

The fear monster is very scary. It can be overwhelming loud and insistent.  That nagging voice that says “You can’t dance.  You don’t know how to paint.  You’ll never be able to write an entire novel.”

We all doubt our abilities and talents.  We fear we don’t have enough time, determination or knowledge to accomplish our dreams.  When in doubt – do it anyway.

Our fears will always be there.  Usually they never amount to anything.  I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve hesitated to do something new because I might look foolish.  Often, I did look silly, uncoordinated or clumsy.

It’s okay to look like a fool sometimes.  It means we’re growing and learning. I took a writing course since I love books and stories and I’ve always wanted to create some of my own.  I never did any more writing after that course.  It overwhelmed with the big bad world of publishing.

I learned publishing was too intense for me right now.  But I did learn others things; punctuation, sentence structure, and other useful tips that I can use in anything I write.  I learned that I may need to tweak that dream a little to make workable for me. So even though I see the course as a failure, I did learn.

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
Thomas A. Edison

 

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.
Albert Einstein

We’re always going to stumble and falter when we try something new.  We’ll feel uncertain and nervous, ungraceful and fumbling.  But our investigations will teach us, sometimes leading us in new, exciting directions.  It’s an adventure worth having.  So if you’re in doubt – go ahead and do it anyway.

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Thursday Thoughts

Soap Film – EXPLORED! #15
Originally uploaded by ..MisDan..slooooowly catching up

Random thoughts on Thursday. . .

I love being unique, but sometimes I hate the fact that not many people get me. I can crack myself up with movie quotes, crazy rhymes, nicknames or just random silliness. Most people at work look at me like I’m crazy. Even friends who know me sometimes give me that wide-eyed look of “What is she going on about now?”

There’s a great quote that just tickles my funny bone. However when I used it the other day my coworkers were like “What TV show? Do you even have any kids?” No guys – you don’t need kids to enjoy cartoons. Do you know that many cartoons have more creative dialogue than the top-rated sitcoms? Hence one of the reasons I like cartoons. (Well, that and King Julien – he rules!)

“Whatever floats your root beer.”  – Zookeeper on Penguins of Madagascar cartoon

My random wandering is my pathway to creativity. Take my Teddy Bear Day poem the other day. That simply came about because I have a wacky holiday calendar posted at my office. I drew a teddy bear (badly) on a piece of paper, then started thinking of Teddy Bear rhymes. That lead me to the poem. Simple. Fun. Most of my friends didn’t even realize I made it up – they thought I copied it or something. Which is kind of flattering, but sometimes feels insulting. Don’t they know me well enough to recognize my stuff? Especially when my email says – sorry this is late, I just thought it up today.

Too bad all those experts aren’t right. If it was easy to make money being creative I’d be self-employed by now. Each time I’ve tried to focus it, it hasn’t worked out. I keep plugging along hopping that sooner or later I’ll figure it out and be able to live my dream of working for myself.

“I did nothing, absolutely nothing. And it was everything I dreamed it could be. – Peter Gibbons, Office Space.

Here’s wishing you a Thrilling Thursday and the chance to live your dreams!

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Live By Your Own Rules.

by Prozac74

While reading another blog that I love, I came across a theme that really resonates with me. It’s called “Rules that don’t exist.” I love this idea firstly because I have always been a bit weird.  I often enjoy things that friends or family dislike or aren’t interested in.  It could be liking music someone else hates, or my love reading – I can’t get enough of it.  Some friends hope that particular disease isn’t contagious

That’s why living by your own rules is so important. Another great blogger, Gretchen Rubin, talks about how what’s fun for other people may not be fun for you – and vice versa.  This is so important to recognize.  You can’t live your life by other people’s rules.

If you love foreign films, or playing video games, or doing sudoku, go right ahead and have fun!  If you love knitting, making homemade Christmas cards or fantasy football – go for it!  Do what YOU love.  Remember love is a matter of the heart. Just like no one can make you love a particular person, no one can make you love a particular thing either.

If you’re anything like me, you live the old adage “Joys shared are doubled, sorrows shared are halved.”  For me, it’s completely true.  Sometimes I feel my joy is diminished because the people around me don’t share my enthusiasm and interest.

It is an enormous relief to realize that while none of my friends like playing with toys – I love it!  I like movies that my husband hates.  It’s like a milkshake – some love strawberry or vanilla, but I love chocolate.  Living life by your own rules means enjoying your particular flavor of life.

That’s one of the beautiful things about the Internet.  There you can find comrades who enjoy EXACTLY the same things as you.  Even if you have to go to one site for Harry Potter fans, and another one for horror movie fans.  (Both of which I like.)

I was reading an article with a point of view I disagreed with today, and it made me feel guilty.  (I thought the article had a point.)  But then I realized, that even though I agree with some of the information, I didn’t agree with the main point.  And that’s TOTALLY OK.  My whole perspective shifted once I realized it’s okay to disagree.

So whatever rules you use to live your life, make them ones that work for you.  Look at the things that you think you should believe – that doing things for others is good for you, that you can’t stay out late on a work night, or that rollercoasters are fun.  Maybe so, but maybe that’s not true for you.  Create a life that makes sense for you, not someone else, even someone you admire. Go live life by YOUR RULES!

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It Starts With You.

Picture by Zanastardust

It’s something I’ve been fighting against lately.  That I am responsible for the conditions in my life.  There has been lots of things bothering me lately; noisy neighbors, work overload, traffic, weather, and an ever-growing to-do list.  When so many things are causing stress and headaches, it’s so easy (and somewhat comforting) to blame others.  Thinking things like “My company is too demanding and doesn’t understand my workload, my neighbors are inconsiderate and rude, or that driver is stupid and blind.”

The good news is that all those improvements you want to see in others, can begin with you. A good example that pops into my head is the dog training show The Dog Whisperer on National Geographic.  Have you seen when Cesar brings in a “good dog” to show the other dog how to behave?  Often the barking, jumping, wild dog will initially approach the new dog with this loud, aggressive attitude.  The good dog doesn’t like this and will turn away and go lay down away from the troublemaker.  It doesn’t take long before the troublemaker is calmly sitting down, watching every move the good dog makes.  Why?  Because all that boisterous, hyper troublemaker wants is attention.  Or exercise.  Or both.  It wants good dog to notice it and to interact.  When good dog ignores it, it learns it must change its behavior to get what it wants.

Years ago while reading self-help books I came across this wise advice “if you want to change those around you, first you must change yourself.” When we act in a different manner or with a new attitude, others see this and must decide how to respond.  They can keep on acting in the same way as before, but it will not get the same results.  It’s like a bully who finds that over the summer the kid he was pushing around has grown taller than him.  When one person changes, often so do the others.

Now of course just because you change does not mean the rest of the world suddenly becomes paradise.  But the good news is that we have a choice.  Instead of whining and complaining about how unfair everything is and how nobody does what you want, you can start saying “I’m glad that no one else has control over me.  They can’t make me miserable or unhappy unless I let them.” Then look for the positive in your situation.

Here is an example from me.  I don’t like my job right now.  There are many, many things I would change about it.  So yesterday I forced myself to make a list of the things that are good about it.  Here’s what I got:

1. I work within 3 miles of my house so I save lots of money on gas.  (My old job was 20 miles each way.)
2. My office allows a flex schedule, so I can come in early or stay late to make up time for doctors appointments and things.  Then I can use my vacation time strictly for vacations.
3. My boss has a laid-back style.  She doesn’t watch over my shoulder or constantly correct me, but is there to help me if I need it.
4. My office is convenient to shopping and restaurants.  I can go out to lunch or do shopping after work and save time since it’s right next to the office.
5. I make a good steady paycheck and have health benefits.  Many people don’t right now.  Also, all the work I have to do means that for the next 6 months at least I know I have job security.

Now obviously this doesn’t change the things I don’t like about my job.  But surprisingly (to me at least), this list does help me feel better about being there.  I could still complain about things, but with no other job prospects in this tight economy, and people still losing their jobs, that doesn’t help me.  What makes my days there better is knowing that there are positive aspects to my job if I just bother to look for them.

I hope this reminder can be of use to you, like it was to me.  I was stuck in the blame game again – and I know better.  Recognizing our own power and using it to our advantage is a great help.  And we’ll feel better about our lives in the process.  Remember positive change starts with you.

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Have Fun Being Yourself!

Making Music by nyki_m

We all have weird and unique, hobbies, interests or talents.  I have recently been reminded how fun it is to indulge in them. And how fulfilling it can be.  Our passions – those activities that feed our joy and happiness, are vital to our wellbeing.  No matter what others think, you need to pursue your passions to give excitement and satisfaction to your life.

Whether you love riding ATV’s through the mud, studying poetry, dancing, singing, or using your belly as a bongo drum, it is important to do things you enjoy. Just as some people love country music, and some love rock, we all like to do different things.  While classical music could be viewed as an alien form of torture to a hip-hop fan, to the right person it is an uplifting, mood-enhancing pastime full of emotion and beauty.

Be yourself.  Don’t change to fit someone else’s idea of you. If you’re a woman who loves power saws and wood working – go for it.  If you’re a man who loves drawing and sculpture, join a class with like-minded souls.  Step away from fear.  Fear of embarrassment that people think you’re silly.  Fear of failure because you’re not skilled at your task.  If it makes you happy – then go for it!

Not sure what your passions are?  Google some ideas on the Internet, or go to the local library and browse some books.  When you find something that peaks your interest try it.  By yourself.  Don’t have any family or even friends there to influence you.  If it makes you smile, laugh or motivates you to do more, you’ll know you’ve found a new calling.

One of my greatest dreams is to write for a big greeting card company like Hallmark.  While that may never happen, I do still love both writing and greeting cards.  I love to visit the Hallmark web site to see all the great cards they have and to visit some favorite characters like Maxine and Hoops & Yoyo.  I also love to make up my own greeting cards for family and friends.  I love rhymes so most of mine are like that.  They are often silly and not too great, but they enjoy the personalized gift, and I enjoy the process of creation.

Here’s a quick sample:

With a flick of the wand

And a swish of his cloak

Girls giggled and swooned

Over that Harry Potter bloke

He works with Dumbledore

To catch You-Know-Who

His friends Ron and Hermione

Stand by him too

He’s dashing and clever

And oh so smart

That black-haired rascal

Captured many a heart

Snape creeps along

And Malfoy sneers too

Keep your eyes peeled

And watch what they do

Sad and exciting

What a tale to tell

I sure hope in the end

It all turns out well!

Silly yes, but I’m sure a few of my friends will enjoy the fun of the film and a silly poem to boot.  :0)  I may not be great, but it’s still fun and that’s what counts.

There is great happiness in doing what you love. If you can’t do it for money, you can certainly do it for fun.  When times are tough, say financial difficulties, a lost job, family illness or other problem is when you need the comfort and mood-boosting effects of your passions the most.  Even 10-20 minutes a day can help – heck even 5 minutes of music during a stressful day at work can turn your frown upside down.

Be your weird, strange, unusual kooky self.  It’s okay to love Audrey Hepburn – even if you’re only twenty years old.  Go ahead and be the only history buff at work.  Feel free to advise friends of the benefits of digging in the dirt for semi-precious gems.  Go ahead and build 25 custom-made birdhouses for your backyard.  You’ll love it, and it’ll make you happy.  When you’re happy so are those around you.  Remember your positive attitude may just rub off on the rest of the world.  Isn’t that a beautiful benefit of being yourself?

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